Archive for the ‘English my love’ Category

Because I am

Today Spring rose from somewhere nearby…so Winter packed her bags and moved along.It took all the hate and pain in the world with it.

So this morning I was happy.

It didn`t realy matter that I haven`t got enough sleep the night and week before, nor that the fridge was empty and the coffee had run out the other day.

God had taken my pain away…and had given me the love and spring instead…so I was happy the first time in a long while…just to be alive.


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Free spirits

Free spirits are borned to walk the Earth alone.They spread light, courage, freedom and love in to the people. They are good in everything and ultimetly beautiful.For them…there is nothing impossible on this world.

Usualy they are recognized and admired.Unfortunately they can never be loved, no matter how much they wish for it.

Free spirits can never be but by themselves.They smile, help, fall in love, but in the end they can never stay and they can never be understood by the ones surrounding them.

And though, they never give up.

Living alone in the middle of an Ocean of Love, they love and help, smile and trust no matter how much it hurts and how much it costs, because deep inside , they believe that the world is a wonderful place.And they believe in it so much, that they give her everything, even themselves……Living their lives day by day in the Eternity they are given.

Because they are the true immortals, the ones that never die.

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Some don^t know what happynes is.Most of them don^t realy know what pain is even when it hits them in the head. Even when they lose what^s the most precious thing to them they remein selfcenterd. Why do people cry when their loved ones die? Because they love them? no…. Because they miss them?maybe…Because they`re sorry for themselves that they don`t have that person to lean and depend on when times get tough?MOST DEFENETLY. That`s why I don`t cry at funerals…even when people say that I`m a cold hearted bitch,that is…. I mourn the dead in my own special way…and I never remember them in death ,but in Life….they way they smiled the way they talked…the way they realy were. This way they`ll never die, living in my memory forever…..as long as I can keep going. Greatings to all the dead.

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I was thinking about LOVE lately.

Of what it was and what it has become.Is it the truth behind the story or the story behind the truth?

It might as well be both, providing the fact that it survives the 20th century.

Life is not what it used to be…and eventhough we haven`t been able to understand Love we`ve been trying to rip it apart for quite a while now.

We live a life totaly devoted to Money and sex ,a life in which Altruism is almost gone, and sincerity is dying.

We fall in love..than we can`t hold our grip on it because of our selfishness.We lose it and get hurt….sometimes realy badly.After that ,if we don`t commit suicide that is, we`re too afraid to open our selfs again,so we pass through life and relationships something like: see, like, take all you can get, appreciate, move on.The circle goes on and on…and leades to total unhapiness ,or numbness if you want. 

We forget that the only sure way to failure is by stop trying…..so we surrender ourselves to fear and quit.It^s easy not having to fight for it… but also it^s not fun at all.

I can`t help but wonder what happend to  kind sensitive people, happy marriages, and absorbing love?When have we been startying to lose these things?Was it before or after the Computer was invented?Has it anything to do with us EVOLVING?If yes than I want to REGRESS because I miss LOVE.I miss it with all my heart.And when I see how strange ,silent and sad the world has becom it hurts event harder.

So…are the big love stories and the terrific happy endings still around?

Probably yes. I`m sure that in the bottom of our hearts straight across the place where Hope lives lies the capabillity to love and cheerish, to make the big gesture.But the question is…who will get there faster: Death or you?

Just in case we miss it I put put my hopes in trying to get  able to forward some pure, deep kind of love at least when God we`ll be asking about it……Till than….I can`t stop but trying.

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Nobody stays 19 forever….too bad.Or not?

When your lucky number twenty something happens.You grow up in a sense of way.Sometimes it`s beautiful..but let`s face it….most of the times it`s awfully painfull.

I have no problem with growing up…hell! i have no problem with getting old either…Just that I don`t see it like others do.

Most of the time when I`m on the morning buss or on the train and the foggy windows block my view, for what it might sometimes look like forever, I draw smily faces and other funny stuff.Than I try to look outside through the tiny gap of my self centered self and try to see a diffrent world.

Mos of the time I get `Try to grow up!` sort of looks.They never see beyond the surface…they`ll never understant what`s laying on the other side of the steamy window and never will they see beyond the shell.

If growing up means to lose your freedom of mind,(subduued to believing only in that what you are told), be too afraid of life and gettind hurt to look the person who^s sitting across to you, smile and say hello, than I would gladly leave them the honour of bekoming old and wise and stay a child forever.

But that^s not posible and weather we like or not we do wake up one day all groen up.Some of us look in the mirror of their souls and are dissapointed in the fact that they`re not ble to recognise their own self anymore.To these people i have have only one advise.

Try to slow down!And maybe once in a while stop and smell the roses…you`ll be astound to find out that it`s spring or autumn, that the sky is so wanderfully blue.It feels good not to be chasing something for a change…trus me.

The other type are amesed by what a great job did life do with them.They`ve become people..real, live, happy people.people on which you can depend and trust,that kind of people that make your life beutiful too.

Meanwhile, for me growing up has meant learning to take every day as it comes and love it to the full. The world is as it is and it`s most beautiful for it.Each and every day that I get it`s a wonder of beauty.The sunshine, The people, a laugh, a track you like, a person that truly loves you, each are smoll miracles that walk silently beside us like shaddows…all the time…all the time.

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